Making out with the Alabama Sports Festival then not being able to hit it, getting a contact high after walking into my Uncle Jeff's house, blind dates and more from the City of Naples.
I found out today that I won't be working in Alabama. If it were 50 years ago and the relationship between me and the Alabama Sports Festival was a phsyical one, I would have held hands and maybe got a kiss on the cheek, in 2005, me and the ASF made out drunk at the bar a couple of times and maybe I even finger blasted her. But since I'm not working for them, I won't be hitting it. It's kinda a bummer because as I learned more about the job description it sounded like a combination of a bunch of the sport related classes that I took at Ithaca. So it would have been nice to put the education to use. But it would have meant that I would be living in Alabama, that probably wouldn't have been too much fun.
On Saturday, I went with my Uncle Mark to visit his parents and my grandparents outside of Orlando. After dinner we went over my Uncle Jeff's house / trailer area to see how they were doing. My Uncle Jeff is just over the fat threshold into sloppy fat. Anyway, Mark and I walk in and what hits us in the face, none other then the scent of the stickiest of the icky.
He only stayed inside for a couple of minutes, after a little while I kinda liked sitting down on the couch. There were people there that I didn't know, I didn't really think to introduce myself. I think the girl that was probably younger than me that was holding a baby said "Who's this one?" I said that I was Rick's son ( I think) and continued to sit down on the couch, breathing heavily.
After a while I got out to see if my Dad was back, I said to my Uncle "You got any Twinkies?", just joking around. But later when I went to talk with my Dad I felt the effects a little bit. He asked me what I was up to since I got into town. I said "We had uh uhh uhhh, dinner over aah ahhh, there" and pointed to my grandparents house. He said "Mom and Dad's?" I said yep, that's the place. Then I watched Out of Sight and the Cuse forget how to rebound.
My Uncle Larry said he'd hook me up with one of the girl's he works with, a girl named Nikki I believe. He said she's not bad. I know what his wife looks like, and if he thinks this girl is only "not bad" I think it's not going to be a long date.
Luckily, when I was home in the ROC and unemployed with no cable, I watched plenty of "Blind Date" Roger Lodge is stoopid funny. If I'm out to one of the chain restaurants with this Nikki girl and it starts going bad I'm just gonna start thinking about what thought bubbles would be popping up and how I would describe her in the post date wrap up.
One other thing of note: It's nice to be the Fields in the house that doesn't have a drinking problem. My uncle stops and gets beer everyday on the way home from work and goes through about 3 or 4 IN THE CAR RIDE HOME. It's quite impressive. He only drives about half the way home so it's not that big of a deal. But anytime he goes out, he brings some Road Sodas or Travelers, whichever you prefer.
And another thing, if for some reason you thought, where are all these people that are right wing christian conservative people that voted for Bush, they are in Florida. More specifically the church that my grandparents go to. They make Rush look like a commie. The pastor held up a toy helicopter for some reason and it had a little figure as the pilot, it was a black piece of plastic. And someone said OUT LOUD, "I hope it's not a black pilot." That's the type of thing we're dealing with here. No culture, very little education, no open minds. But it's warm.
I found out today that I won't be working in Alabama. If it were 50 years ago and the relationship between me and the Alabama Sports Festival was a phsyical one, I would have held hands and maybe got a kiss on the cheek, in 2005, me and the ASF made out drunk at the bar a couple of times and maybe I even finger blasted her. But since I'm not working for them, I won't be hitting it. It's kinda a bummer because as I learned more about the job description it sounded like a combination of a bunch of the sport related classes that I took at Ithaca. So it would have been nice to put the education to use. But it would have meant that I would be living in Alabama, that probably wouldn't have been too much fun.
On Saturday, I went with my Uncle Mark to visit his parents and my grandparents outside of Orlando. After dinner we went over my Uncle Jeff's house / trailer area to see how they were doing. My Uncle Jeff is just over the fat threshold into sloppy fat. Anyway, Mark and I walk in and what hits us in the face, none other then the scent of the stickiest of the icky.
He only stayed inside for a couple of minutes, after a little while I kinda liked sitting down on the couch. There were people there that I didn't know, I didn't really think to introduce myself. I think the girl that was probably younger than me that was holding a baby said "Who's this one?" I said that I was Rick's son ( I think) and continued to sit down on the couch, breathing heavily.
After a while I got out to see if my Dad was back, I said to my Uncle "You got any Twinkies?", just joking around. But later when I went to talk with my Dad I felt the effects a little bit. He asked me what I was up to since I got into town. I said "We had uh uhh uhhh, dinner over aah ahhh, there" and pointed to my grandparents house. He said "Mom and Dad's?" I said yep, that's the place. Then I watched Out of Sight and the Cuse forget how to rebound.
My Uncle Larry said he'd hook me up with one of the girl's he works with, a girl named Nikki I believe. He said she's not bad. I know what his wife looks like, and if he thinks this girl is only "not bad" I think it's not going to be a long date.
Luckily, when I was home in the ROC and unemployed with no cable, I watched plenty of "Blind Date" Roger Lodge is stoopid funny. If I'm out to one of the chain restaurants with this Nikki girl and it starts going bad I'm just gonna start thinking about what thought bubbles would be popping up and how I would describe her in the post date wrap up.
One other thing of note: It's nice to be the Fields in the house that doesn't have a drinking problem. My uncle stops and gets beer everyday on the way home from work and goes through about 3 or 4 IN THE CAR RIDE HOME. It's quite impressive. He only drives about half the way home so it's not that big of a deal. But anytime he goes out, he brings some Road Sodas or Travelers, whichever you prefer.
And another thing, if for some reason you thought, where are all these people that are right wing christian conservative people that voted for Bush, they are in Florida. More specifically the church that my grandparents go to. They make Rush look like a commie. The pastor held up a toy helicopter for some reason and it had a little figure as the pilot, it was a black piece of plastic. And someone said OUT LOUD, "I hope it's not a black pilot." That's the type of thing we're dealing with here. No culture, very little education, no open minds. But it's warm.
posted by Zach Fields at
6:36 PM
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